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August 31, 2017

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Worth the work

August 31, 2017

 I have had a long, hard journey on the road to recovery and am thankful for the drive that has kept me going.  For me, connecting pain with healing never registered.  I thought that feeling pain meant I was doing something wrong.  I read countless books that told me that healing was painful, but I stilled failed to make the connection on a felt level.  Perhaps because I was not seeking true healing; I was seeking perfectionism, which is an unattainable goal.  I suffered from very destructive eating disorder that consumed 99.9% of my life.  I have been through depression, self hatred, anxiety, anger, frustration, etc.  I believe that the under lying issues was that I had no idea what it meant to love myself.  There have been many times over the past twenty years that I had wished I had never started the process of healing; that I had chose to stay stuck in self destruction instead.  I never thought I would be where I am today and I want to share with the world that healing, though painful, is more than possible and 100% worth the work.  

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